21 and in the grey area of ‘dating’

13th June 2013
13th June 2013 Sophie Tomblin

Many say, not just some, 21 is a young age to settle down and have a serious relationship. But when I think about it ; my parents were engaged ready to start their lives together after just being together for two years. Saving up to get married, they didn’t predict they would still be together 32-years later with three children – all now grown up starting their lives and leaving the family nest.

My brother and sister, are both in happy relationships, which leaves me the middle child still waiting for cupid to strike me with his arrow. And my goodness is he taking his sweet time. While being single, he has brought me many dating opportunities. Some good, some which have ended up being simple friendships and some relatively bad.

I find the dating process, very awkward. The ‘alone time’ getting to know each other is nerve wrecking.

Between you and me, I hate the thought of it. One time, I got so nervous, I had one to many vodka lemonade and limes, which resulted in the poor guy putting me in the taxi and sending me on my way. It’s very safe to say, I did not hear from him again. He may have even left my home town, due to the embarrassment of knowing me!

Many of my female friends, love being taken out for dinner and being spoiled with flowers and gifts. I would love that too but again, when I was once brought flowers, I had such an allergic reaction to them my face because nothing but a furious rash.

Maybe it is just me, and the personal situations just terrify me, so what can one do to meet a person with out the diddy daddling in between?

When I have nights out with the girls, it’s completely fine. Speaking to guys, doesn’t become a problem  – neither does my amazing attempt at ‘teaching them how to migraine skank.’ Face palm.


Narrowing it down, I  think my problem is thinking into way too much, I assume relationships will start up sooner than they will. Every person I speak to, could be a new romantic relationship. No no, this never happens. I will opening blame this on the hundreds of RomCom DVDs I own. In the hour and a half of film, two people are able to create the perfect relationship that we can only assume lasts forever.

On recent dates, nothing goes quite as smoothly as it does in the films. It’s like my brain forgets how good my communication skills really are. I don’t know where to look, and I come out with things like ‘Did you know there is over 200 species of watermelon?’ I’m ashamed to say I have said this. The discussion of fruit, however did last for about 20 minutes but never again did we share such a stimulating conversation.

Can I blame this on Facebook and texting? When meeting people face to face, you already have had previous conversations over the phone or internet, so what is there really left to say. Not only this but we socially stalk people on their online profiles which already creates an expectation instead of a mystery.

When I speak to my Grandfather about my dating situation, he always reassures me that things were much easier in his day, men had to approach women and first impressions weren’t hidden behind a profile picture. It makes me think, has the progression of technology killed the fun of the first steps in romance?

Maybe it is a personal fear of mine, but maybe we all go through the same thing when we’re single and we just simply panic.

As my Grandfather always says, ‘good things come to those who wait.’ So, if I wait long enough, in 5 years time, hopefully Ryan Gosling will be on my doorstep holding non-allergy flowers and a watermelon.

We can only hope!


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Sophie Tomblin

Journalism Graduate, with a passion to have my own successful column one day! I'm a pro at not attending my paid for gym and a Nandos enthusiast.

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